I must confess that I am in a free relationship with my guy from Texas, despite being separated by an ocean and seven time zones. As a result, we must schedule our visits on an infrequent basis: every three of four months. Sad but true.
On the bright side, we both have our careers, such as they are: he can be the mathematics professeur in the USA and I can be the government functionary in France. It's not modeling, but it brings in my Euros and his US Dollars.
On the flip side, we are separated. And I live with Maman, and feel monitored my her, despite my being in early 30's.
On one occasion of these visits he came to Europe, as he often does. I met him at CDG, and we were to spend a 'dirty weekend' at an auberge (like a U.S. B & B) near Vannes, in Bretagne. It was a beautiful inn, and refreshed after a delicious sleep, we were set to enjoy a restorative break-fast in the dining-room with other diners.
Now the Bretons tend to be direct; a fact that puzzles the rest of the French. This waitress at the café enjoyed a malicious pleasure in asking embarassing questions heard by all in the café. It is a way of throwing them off-stride, but providing entertainment and amusement. Thus it was. The maid in the café sensed that my friend was not French by his accent (improving), and so asked me:
Ton ami, c'est un Americain? [Your friend, he is an American?]
Oui Un Texan. [Yes. A Texan.]
Ah........combien de fois ............ [Ah, how many times (were you intimate last night?)]
Me, I was puzzled. How to answer this embarassing question, without troubling my guy? And I sensed that it was to make sport of him if I didn't answer, or the number was unimpressive. One must follow the advice of the American singer Tammy Wynette: Stand By Your Man. I was not going to be the monkey of surrender in this case.
So I blurted out, "Seulement cinq fois, il était fatigué." ["Only five times, he was tired."]
And, after a pause, I said, "Excuse me, but I am getting the fatigue aussi. We must lie down to be restored."