Monday, December 20, 2010

In an Auberge in Bretagne

I must confess that I am in a free relationship with my guy from Texas, despite being separated by an ocean and seven time zones.  As a result, we must schedule our visits on an infrequent basis: every three of four months.  Sad but true.
On the bright side, we both have our careers, such as they are: he can be the mathematics professeur in the USA and I can be the government functionary in France.  It's not modeling, but it brings in my Euros and his US Dollars.
On the flip side, we are separated.  And I live with Maman, and feel monitored my her, despite my being in early 30's.
On one occasion of these visits he came to Europe, as he often does.  I met him at CDG, and we were to spend a 'dirty weekend' at an auberge (like a U.S. B & B) near Vannes, in Bretagne.  It was a beautiful inn, and refreshed after a delicious sleep, we were set to enjoy a restorative break-fast in the dining-room with other diners.
Now the Bretons tend to be direct; a fact that puzzles the rest of the French.  This waitress at the café enjoyed a malicious pleasure in asking embarassing questions heard by all in the café.  It is a way of throwing them off-stride, but providing entertainment and amusement.  Thus it was.  The maid in the café sensed that my friend was not French by his accent (improving), and so asked me:
Ton ami, c'est un Americain?  [Your friend, he is an American?] 
Oui   Un Texan.  [Yes.  A Texan.]
Ah........combien de fois ............  [Ah, how many times  (were you intimate last night?)]   
Me, I was puzzled.  How to answer this embarassing question, without troubling my guy?  And I sensed that it was to make sport of him if I didn't answer, or the number was unimpressive.  One must follow the advice of the American singer Tammy Wynette: Stand By Your Man.   I was not going to be the monkey of surrender in this case.
So I blurted out, "Seulement cinq fois, il était fatigué."  ["Only five times, he was tired."]
And, after a pause, I said, "Excuse me, but I am getting the fatigue aussi.  We must lie down to be restored."


  1. What do you mean by a free relationship? Is that not quite engaged, friends with benefits, or ?

  2. A delightful story, Grenouille Fille!