Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Clearing the Clutter from My Mind

I really believe that our minds are like closets, with lots of good things within, but also a lot of clutter.  Does discovering the clutter make it less messy, or does it lead to more clutter?  This is something for psycho-analysts and deconstructionist critics to ponder, but mostly to pontificate on!  Anyway, a trip into the mind can be a trip sometime, and here are some of the questions that I have found:
1.  What happens if we become bored with the beatific vision?
2.  Do you get a higher place in heaven if you have an orderly sock drawer?
3.  What happens when we reach the end of the internet?
4.  Does the Pope wear boxers or briefs?
5.  Why do we drive on the right of the road, and the British on the left?
6.  If geese is the plural of goose, then why isn't meese the plural of moose?
7.  What I have experienced of adult life suggests that it is unplanned; does anyone really know what is going on?
8.  Why are sports figures, actors, and models expected to comment on issues or things in general, and people express surprise (or pleasure) when they say something strange?
9.  Why do some people sprinkle salt in their beer?
10.  If the speed of light is 30,000,000 meters/second, what is the speed of smell?
11.  Why are men content with fewer shoes than they really need?
12.  What if Elvis really wasn't dead?
13.  Does heaven have a dress code?
14.  If I were to travel backwards at the speed of light, would that affect the size of my butt?
15.  Is there a rule that governmental functionaires must be sour?
16.  In what circle of Hell will the person who developed artificial turf be assigned?
17.  Do hunters of foxes actually eat the fox?
18.  Would I make a good meter maid?
19.  Will I ever see the green flash at sunset?
20.  Why is it forbidden to kiss on trains?
21.  Can one eat Coquilles St.-Jacques during Lent?
22.  How old may a Twinkie be and still be edible?
23.  I heard that gentlement prefer blonds, but do blonds prefer gentlemen?
24.  How is a barrel of monkeys fun?
25.  Is the story about the little boys peeping suitable for the internet?
26.  Why do pirates say nonsense as "Shiver me timbers"?
27.  Is there a rule that politicians must lie sincerely?

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